What is rape?
by Twisteria Lullubee
Summary: Astral has always asked questions that were a bit invasive... But never had a question had such consequences. He was such an innocent spirit and so was Yuma... Where did it all go so wrong? Curiosity killed the cat...   AstralXYuma Yaoi, rape, first time.
1. Chapter 1

** Dark fic... enjoy.**

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><p>Astral had been by Yuma's side for hours while he wrote in his journal of the days events. Astral was patient. Astral was calm, but Astral was bored. Every time he tried to peek at what Yuma was writing he would cover it with his arm and shoot the spirit a dark glare.<p>

"A journal is private," he said.

"Why?" asked Astral.

Yuma sighed, "It's a place for someone to record their personal thought without fear of being judged," he explained.

"But I am not here to judge you," began Astral.

"Yeah right," snapped Yuma.

"I mean it. Other than your dueling strategy... It's not my place to judge anything you do... I rely on your example. I make observations, I do not judge what I see. I learn from you, Yuma."

Yuma was so irritated his eyebrow was twitching, "Fine, " he gave in, "I'll let you read today's entry, as long as you promise to shut up." He tossed the blue spirit his journal.

He began to read it, "I am not an idiot," he whispered inaudibly and continued reading.

_Today I ate outside to avoid the people who glare at me and call me crazy in the lunch room... There everywhere now. Sometimes I think my best friends doubt my sanity... Eating outside turned out to be way worse though. I ran into the gym teacher and he grabbed me, if Tori hadn't come to find me he may have raped me... Astral was oblivious though._

Astral lowered the small leather book, "What is rape?" he asked. Yuma's eyes suddenly became large and he snatched the book back from Astral.

He looked at it for a second, "You floating idiot! That was yesterday's entry! You weren't supposed to read that one!" he snarled.

_Again with the idiot remark,_ Astral swore he was never going to let that go.

"I'm not sure what the problem is, I merely asked a simple question. What is rape?" said Astral.

Astral's innocence was enough to fade Yuma's anger, he sighed again, "It's the worst possible thing one person can do to another person."

"How so?" asked Astral, "Is it painful?"  
>"Usually, but not always... Sometimes you just feel numb..."<p>

"How is it bad if it doesn't really hurt?"

"Well, it _does_ hurt... just in a different way sometimes..." Yuma thought for a second, "It's put on a whole different sat of standards because it's compared to affection."

"And affection is?"

Yuma bowed his head and threw his hands up in the air in a helpless gesture, "A kiss on the cheek, a hug, holding hands... Stuff like that."

"What's the difference between that and rape?" asked Astral.

"The only real difference is affection is taken willingly, rape isn't..."

Astral only tilted his head to the side like a confused kitten.

"Affection makes you feel good, rape does the opposite." said Yuma desprately.

"How so?" asked Astral, uncrossing his arms.

"I can't explain it."

"There must be some way you can show me."

The moment he had finished the sentence, Yuma grabbed him by his wrist and pulled him down onto his hammock, rolling over on top of the thin spirit.

For the first moment in his life, Astral was about speechless, "Yuma?" he asked, unsure.

The scarlet eyed duelist's expression was unreadable as he grabbed Astral's wrist's and pinned them above his head.

He squirmed weakly, "What are you doing?"

Yuma said nothing, simply leaned down and pressed his lips into his neck. Astral watched his every move with apprehension. He began to apply more pressure with every move of his lips against the tender blue skin, and Yuma's own expression was beginning to darken as well. He looked angry, as if he were letting all of his resentment out with this kiss. Yuma also looked as if he were really beginning to enjoy this, this terrified Astral most of all...

Yuma suddenly bit down on the ugly yellow mark he created, piercing through the skin.

Astral screamed and kicked his legs desperately, twisting his wrists frantically. Yuma merely adjusted his hold.

Yuma pulled away from the abused flesh of Astral's neck and kissed his cheek... Something he had previously mentioned as affectionate.. But it didn't make Astral feel any better.

How could Yuma do this?

One of Yuma's hands slid to Astral's torso and he began exploring it as Yuma's tongue had it's way with Astral's ear. Yuma's fingers carefully traced the markings on his body until he found his nipples. He drew patterns around and over them until the flesh began to rise... Giving him small nubs to play with.

Astral lay there panting, the pain of the open wound in his neck was nearly forgotten as Yuma continued his ministrations... His tongue licking around and dipping into his ear his, hands stroking his chest... But he didn't want this!

"Yuma, stop." he said, trying to keep his voice even.

Yuma covered his lips with his own. Astral watched him, his eyes wide... He almost felt like a stranger looking in as Yuma ran his tongue over his top lip and then pressing it into the crease, demanding entry.

Astral couldn't have complied if he had wanted to, he was still far too shocked.

This seem to irritate Yuma, he growled softly against Astral's lips and pressed hard into his crotch.

Astral gasped and Yuma took the chance to shove his tongue deep into the sweet orifice. It didn't ever occur to Astral to bite down as Yuma's tongue licked and tasted every part of his mouth.. Eventually settling on Astral's own tongue and sucking on it... Astral could taste Yuma now... He tasted like the fruity cereal he always ate for breakfast... Overly sweet but kind of nice... He shouldn't be enjoying this!

He moved his head violently side to side, trying to break the kiss he was slowly losing himself in...

Yuma broke the kiss himself, biting down on Astral's lower lip before moving to his jawline kissing and nibbling him there as his free hand slid from his chest to his thighs. He traced the marking again...

They seemed to provide a perfect path to tease Astral without touching anything really important. Astral was lost in dirty pleasure as Yuma moved his hand away from his wrist and wrapped it around his waist, his other hand slowly separating the thighs he was caressing. Suddenly the blue spirit felt himself be hauled into Yuma's lap, arms locked to his sides, legs straddling Yuma's thighs. He felt something hard and throbbing through Yuma's pants.

Hugs were supposed to be comforting also, weren't they?

Yuma's hand slid to his bottom and began to stroke and separate his butt cheeks, searching for and opening his entrance.

Astral didn't understand what was going on. He didn't understand why this was happening. Or why Yuma was doing this to him. Many of the things he was doing he mentioned as affectionate, perhaps he was just misinterpreting his actions. Astral was still new to earth, maybe this was a good thing.

Then why did even the pleasure make him feel so dirty?

Yuma's fingers found what they were searching for and suddenly he heard a small voice that sounded little like Astral.

"Yuma... stop, please. I'm begging you."

Yuma ignored him and pushed Astral back onto the hammock, releasing him for a second to pull his fly down. Astral's eyes darted down to his length. He didn't understand... Astral's struggling was almost gone now. He felt dirty for liking it, guilty for feeling dirty when he believed Yuma was just trying to show his affection...

All he could do was lay there and wonder what was going on... He felt like he was losing his mind, the whole world was blurry and his senses were dull.

When Yuma licked his fingers he would make an observation and question why. When he pushed them into the small hole between his legs he would inquire and try to think of reasons why.. Only to draw a complete blank. When Yuma slicked up his length with his own spit and whispered to Astral to relax Astral would tremble and wonder why. Yuma grabbed Astral's hands, which had been gripping tightly into the fishnet of Yuma's hammock.

Astral looked down dully as Yuma intertwined their fingers.

_Holding hands..._

Suddenly, Yuma pushed into him. Astral screamed. It felt to him as if it were out of now where even though every action up to this point had been leading up to it. The pain was horrible, and that was all it was as Yuma rocked his hips into him. He could feel himself being torn apart despite Yuma's attempt to prepare him. Yuma groaned every time he rocked into the spirit, he was so fucking tight and he knew by his reactions and his general innocence that this must be his first time.

Astral screamed and screamed until he voice was barely audible, Yuma decided to give him a little pleasure. He thrusted in at different angles until Astral moaned and arched his back. Internal muscles clamping down onto him. Astral went limp and sobbing as Yuma continued to hit that spot. He realized then that Yuma wouldn't stop and there was nothing he could do to stop him.

The moment his resistance had fully stopped he felt the intrusion leave him. Yuma sat up on Astral's hips and Astral watched him in disarray as he stroked himself to completion.

"That was rape, only most of the time the guy doesn't stop," Yuma explained, releasing all over Astral. Then Yuma just got up, like nothing had happened and went into the bathroom.

When Yuma was out of sight Astral tried to sit up, close his legs- anything, but he simply didn't have the energy. He just stared up at the plain wood ceiling. Nothing made sense..

_That was horrible... _he thought.

_But you liked it.. _said the horrible voice in his head.

Astral had asked Yuma a question... And he answered it in the only way he could.

Astral said he wasn't there to make any judgements about what Yuma said or _did_. Could he truly justify making a single judgement on what Yuma had did?

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><p><strong>Explanations in second chapter! Reveiw for it.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

Yuma slammed the door behind him when he got into the bathroom. He took a long look in the vanity. The anger on his face disappeared as his head dropped to his chest, hands clutching onto the rim of the sink.

"Why?" he spoke through his teeth as tears streamed down from his eyes.

Oh, I don't know, said a cruel voice in his head as black mist began to surround him, _because it felt good? You've been wanting to do it for a while now... You've wanted to feel that blue skin under your hands since the day you met him... In truth that's why you've always been so cruel to him, because you hate him for making you feel like this... And we both know he would never consent, he's far too stuck up to surrender his virginity to a low-life like you. Besides, we both know he was asking for that, parading around in the buff all the time, the question he asked was merely the topper._

"He doesn't know any better." said Yuma.

_But that's the best part! He probably has no idea what's going on right now! He said he relies on you completely! You could convince him of anything right now. Just tell him that it was affection, he'll eat it right up!_

"But I just told him-"

_I know, but he'll be more likely to believe that it was affection. He may have an extremely low opinion of you. But it would kill him to think that you hurt him like that on purpose._

"But I did hurt him," Yuma whispered as more tears began to fall.

_Point is,if you don't tell him something you'll lose him forever..._

With that thought set into his brain the black mist sank into him and a ninety-six appeared on the back of his neck. A cruel gleam appeared in his once bright eyes

He left the bathroom and went back over to Astral. He was laying limply in the hammock, eyes empty and focused on nothing in particular. He didn't even seem to notice Yuma until he was standing above him looking down.

"Y-Yuma?" he said, his voice a little hoarse but still beautiful.

Yuma grinned.

Astral cleared his throat, he made an attempt to sit up again to be on the same level with Yuma, but immediately felt a sharp pain in his back and laid down again.

"I'm sorry I asked you that one question... I shouldn't have done that... I didn't understand what I was asking... I'm sorry.." he whispered softly.

The spirit obviously believed it was his fault which made Yuma's job much easier.

He gently stroked the side of Astral's face with the back of his hand, who immediately began to tremble, "Actually it's a lot worse then you think.." he said, "I did to you what I did because I wanted to..."

Astral swallowed, blinking, his brain ringing hardly able to comprehend what had just been said, "You wanted to..."

"It really wasn't rape, Astral."

"Then why did you say..."

"I wanted to show you affection, so you'd have something to contrast against... But when I realized that you didn't like it... I said that to cover my own ass... I just wanted to show you my love... I didn't think you'd hate me so much.." tears streamed down Yuma's cheeks with the last couple words.

So Astral's suspicions were correct, he was just trying to show him his love... Astral had really hurt him. "I don't hate you Yuma."

"Then why did you put up such a hard resistance?" asked Yuma.

Astral had hurt him so much... Astral forced himself up onto his knees in the hammock despite the agony that it put him in, wrapping his arms loosely around the still crying Yuma. He hated himself for feeling dirty during Yuma's affection, he hated himself for making him cry.

What could he do to ever make this up to him? All he was trying was to love him and Astral had turned him down... Treated his love like it was a piece of garbage.. Something to beg not to have rather than to cherish.

"I'm sorry... I am so sorry, Yuma," he whispered in his softest voice, burying his face into Yuma's neck, "I didn't know... I didn't understand what was going on... Please forgive me..."

Yuma nearly burst out laughing, he had just raped this pathetic little spirit, and now here he was, on his knees, begging him for forgiveness. And yet this spirit claimed wisdom.

"It was good actually... It hurt a little... but I guess I just need getting used to it. I just need to get used to it, Yuma... I just needed time... You didn't do anything wrong... I'm not from this world, it may be different for those who were born here. It felt good Yuma." Astral said softly, tears leeking from his eyes.

Yuma knew he was full of shit, only trying to make him feel better for what he'd done, but Yuma honestly he didn't care.

Astral got what he deserved for always bossing him around, for treating him like an idiot, for walking around naked all the time, for being so fucking beautiful.

And now the innocent little spirit was telling him that he just needed to get used to it? Did the little blue spirit even understand what "getting used to it" entailed? He was surrendering himself to brutal sex. Never underestimate the power of guilt.

Who was Yuma to refuse?

"Do you want to get used to it?" he asked Astral, running his fingers through that pale blue hair before kissing his ear.

Astral's voice shook, "Yes, I want to be able to love you back..." anything for Yuma, anything in the name of guilt... He was as innocent as Yuma thought in this instance, he knew the pain he was in for... He just thought the pain came from love, not from hate.

"I'll make love to you every day, Astral..." said Yuma, getting hard from the idea, "I'll kiss you and hold you always... So you can go ahead and get used to it."

He gently pushed Astral away to plant a kiss on his abused lips.

"But for now, you need a bath.."

Astral's mind hadn't been this blurry since Yuma was raping him... Yuma gathered him up so gently and carried him into the bathroom. He placed him into the tub and turned the water on, it was warm and opened many of his cuts again so the water was stained with red as Yuma began to wash him off. Treating the spirit as if he were an infant who was incapable of doing it himself.

Slowly, Astral was beginning to see just how helpless he really was and how much he depended on Yuma... What would he ever do without him? It wasn't Astral that protected Yuma, it had always been the other ways around.. He wouldn't even be here now if it weren't for the boy sponging off is thighs. He was nothing without Yuma, literally nothing. He had no right to judge him.

Under the water, a finger slid into his entrance.

He Had No Right To Judge Him.

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><p><strong>Reviews fuel my writing! Review<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

A month passed...

Astral slid deeper into depression, Yuma did everything for the spirit... He bathed him, opened doors for him. Fed him. The spirit was beginning to forget he did not need these things to survive. He be came accustomed to the feeling of Yuma looking over him whenever he did anything... He did nothing on his own.

That dependence made Astral forget himself, and forget Yuma. He didn't seem to realize how differently he was acting because he was stuck in the mentality of having no right to judge him... He was so busy trying to be fair to the duelist to save him.

Yuma was true to his word, he had his way with the spirit every night. Astral still wasn't used to it... the poor spirit.

Yuma slid into Astral again and again, Astral lay gasping, tears streaming down his face. Though his legs were wrapped loosely around Yuma's waist, his hands were clasping on Yuma's shoulders, he made no effort to return the caresses he was receiving... Yuma had told him that his job was simple, to lay there and do whatever he said... Astral would smile when he knew he was looking, but when Yuma wasn't he would lay there in his semi-conscious state. The only thing that made his life bearable at this point. He receded deeper into himself every time Yuma's hand brushed against his thigh, and the number took deeper control of Yuma.

Basically, the more Yuma touched Astral the less sane both boys became.

When Yuma came he would immediately pull out of Astral, leaving the fluid to drain out of the hole between his legs...

Yuma looked and smiled at his unwitting toy, his red eyes looking even more threatening in the moonlight casting through the window, "Is this helping, Astral, baby?"

This had always been Yuma's favorite time of night... The moon light he loved the way Astral's body seemed to glow... Even despite the layer of sweat and seamen that covered him.

Astral couldn't remember exactly when Yuma started calling him that, "It's-it's helping-" he said softly.

"You can't lie to me Astral, your mine. Tell me the truth."

Astral sighed and laid his head to one side, "I'm still a little weary about the whole thing..."

"You're still afraid of me," snarled Yuma, "and after all I've done for you you still hate me..."

"I don't hate you, Yuma, and I don't fear you either... I love you, Yuma. I will learn this, as I have learned everything else from you... My Yuma.." he did what he often did these days, hauled himself up, wrapped his arms around his master's waist, and begged for forgiveness. Yuma would laugh in his mind.

Yuma arrived late to school every day now, he blew off his friends. Giving his attention only to Astral. Something Astral found a bit unhealthy for Yuma, but he found it a little flattering. Yuma would sit in his classes, staring at Astral the whole time, rather then listening to the teacher explain the lesson. On top of that, he made every excuse to get a hall pass to go to the bathroom. Where he would kiss, and sometimes even make love to Astral. Astral was becoming resentful of Yuma.

Often, Astral secretly wished that someone would walk in on them, see Yuma with his pants down thrusting into what would look to them like nothing, so Yuma would stop, and be hauled away to a mental facility.

Then he would shake the thoughts violently away, to him they seemed shameful. Wanting something that horrible to happen to someone who cared so deeply for him.. He was giving Yuma his consent, Yuma was doing nothing to him that he hadn't already said yes to. Yuma was only trying to love him.. Astral had no right to judge him, Astral was just a horrible person.

Yuma grew more obsessed with Astral everyday, as the number took even deeper root. His deepest and most shameful desire was starting to become his only one... He began to forget to eat, to sleep, instead choosing to only make love to his beautiful toy. His grandma and Tori began to worry about him, he told them all to fuck off. He didn't need them anymore, he didn't need anyone other than he already had. Astral.


	4. Chapter 4

Yuma pushed Astral up against the wall. Astral wanted to break down in tears, rip away from his caresses and hide from him. But he couldn't... Yuma was his world, his only hope of ever getting his memories back, he relied on him completely.

"You ready, Astral baby?" Yuma hissed into his ear, sounding less and less like himself every time he did this.

Astral shuddered, wanting nothing more than to say, _No, I'm not, and I never will be... _But instead he bobbed his head yes, hating himself. That's when it really began, the licks down his waist, hands touching him everywhere, often hard enough to bruise his pale blue skin. It was terrible, it always was, and deep down Astral wondered how anyone could enjoy this.

Astral put his hands up on the wall, the wood rough under his palms. Yuma placed a kiss between his shoulder blades, sucking and nipping down his back, leaving ugly yellow marks until he got to his hips. Astral shivered, he could almost feel Yuma's dark smile. A second and he was in, without warning or caution, as always. Astral kept his mouth tightly shut, holding back a scream, it always felt like he was being torn apart. Once Yuma was all the way in, Astral head dropped, bobbing slightly as Yuma rocked in and out.

_Humans enjoy this sensation, _he thought as pain ran up his spine, a burning sensation in his ass, _they must be stronger than me._ It only took a few minutes for Yuma to release inside Astral, making the spirit cry out.

Yuma slid out carelessly, letting Astral slip to floor. The spirit sucked in deep breaths, trying to regulate his breath and heart beat again. He felt Yuma's warm fluid (he never bothered to ask what it was called) oozing out of him and running down his thighs. He let his forehead fall against the wood of taking deep, shuddering breaths, trying to prevent Yuma from seeing him shake.

The spirit felt his back being caressed, he looked behind him and saw Yuma. "Was it good for you too?"

Astral nodded, though his face held no joy or pleasure. Yuma patted his back, "I'm glad, baby." he reached his hand out to the thin spirit, Astral took it, legs wobbling as he came into his arms. Yuma closed the distance between their bodies before lifting Astral up and carrying him to the bath tub. He'd made a habit of filling the tub before taking Astral, in the end the both supposed it just saved time.

Astral gave a soft hiss when his body slid into the hot water. He missed the days as just a spirit, when the outside world had no effect on his body. Back then he was flawless, now his body was marked with ugly bruises, symbols of Yuma's love. Some of them were given to him while Yuma was inside, sometimes they were given to him when Yuma was mad. The pain wasn't as bad anymore, though, even if his body hadn't changed, his mind was becoming numb. For the first time ever, Astral gave a soft chuckle; he really was going insane.

Yuma rubbed Astral's head softly, gently. Yuma felt sick when Astral looked up at him with a mixture of shock and confusion, and underneath that, fear. It was very rare that he touched the spirit gently. He always lost it if he so much as let his hand touch his frail-seeming body. Even now, the back of his neck burnt badly, the voices in his mind were screaming. _Please, _he begged silently, _let us just have this..._

Yuma wasn't in much better shape either, he'd lost a lot of weight, he was skinny before, but now, his bones were visible. He had dark circles under his eyes, his once vibrant hair was dull and colorless. His eyes were tired and glassy. Both boys were dying, fading away slowly. Even the key, the very thing that linked their souls together was fading, becoming duller every moment. Yuma took Astral's hand in his, the spirit tried to stand up, groaning in pain. Yuma kissed his knuckles, it was a sweet, innocent kiss, like one shared between children. Astral stopped and stared up at him.

"I love you, Astral." said Yuma, weeping softly, taking Astral into his arms.

Astral buried his face into Yuma's shoulder, _I loved you too, once. _But still, Astral was greatful for the rare moment of peace.

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><p><strong>Sorry I haven't updated this in a while, I kept meaning too but my computer sort of ate all my writing the last time I got close. Please Review!<strong>


	5. Response:Ignore if you like

**merag chapter 4 . Apr 15 **

After all what you wrote I will report this.  
>First astral is a boy not a girl.<br>Second men can't rape men.  
>Third as for all of it rape is something very bad and you know that and if you are thinking in such a thing at this age so maybe your account will be resirected as you would be jailed which an impolite child like you would deserve.<br>You are impolite.

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><p><strong>I feel as an author I have the responsibility to say this<strong> **publicly. **

First of all my dear, merag, men can rape men. It is a real thing that happens to real people and your absolute ignorance of these victims is tiresome and predictable. I do not appreciate it, someone dear to me, who happens to be a male was a victim of this type of abuse. Astral is not gender bent in any way. As for your third point, I am aware that rape is a bad thing, if you actually read the story it does not glorify the action in any way, in fact both boys are being slowly emotionally destroyed. Also, I am not a child, I am of age. I happen to be perfectly polite, I don't leave ill-informed rude comments on other people's stories, or suggest jail time, I only wish the same could be said about you.

~Twisteria

**As for the rest of you, my lovely reviewers, this fiction is not yet finished, and I will update soon.**

**~Twist**


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